Self-esteem changed my life!

Self-esteem: Having a high opinion of one's self.
Being comfortable with the way you are.
Being able to like your self.
Being in control of your inner thoughts in a positive way.

There is a direct correlation between people who have high self-esteem, and high achievement.

There is a direct correlation between people who have low self-esteem, and low achievement.

This is a report from a young woman who identified she had low self-esteem.
She didn't identify it as that at first. All she knew was that she…

Was easily put upon by other people.

Easily led.

Lacked confidence.
Needed to be more assertive.
Stayed in a relationship, simply for the comfort factor.
Had difficulty saying no.
Was afraid of confrontation.
Considered most people as better than her.
Didn't like her self, even though most people saw her as attractive.
Easily broke into tears.

Cheryl Smith's Continual Learning Process.

A 1000 word report on Self-Esteem.
What I've learnt! What am I doing now?

What is Self-Esteem?

Self-esteem is having a high opinion of one's self. It is the integrated sum of self-confidence and self-respect, it is the conviction that you are confident to cope with life's challenges and that you are worthy of life's happiness.

What have I learnt?

For the past three months, intermittently I have been coached by Glenn Harrison, read self esteem books and listened to self-esteem tapes. I listened to them whenever I was able to, whilst doing something else, so as not to take up any additional time. Driving my car, tidying my room, taking a bath and even while wrapping Christmas gifts. I have listened to the tapes twice over and also taken detailed notes, allowing me to write this essay.

Before working with Glenn Harrison I considered myself to be a happy person, but since working with Glenn and his team of positive people, I've found what true happiness is, and more about what life has got to offer.

Before this I had a personal relationship with a boyfriend for 2 ½ years, and I felt that I enjoyed that relationship, and my work, both full time during the day and part time in the evening, despite the fact that I had very little social life. I was happy with the company of my family and work colleagues. I thought I had a reasonable amount of self-esteem.

As far as my career went, I was content being a Sales Administrator. I loved my job and the people who I worked with. Since listening to the tapes, I've begun to listen to my thoughts and myself, which is something that I've never done before.

Glenn gave me the tapes for me to develop myself, become more assertive, confident, enthusiastic and motivational. To help me express myself, be more positive and yet be comfortable with some confrontational or difficult situations that arise. And if not, to speak out aloud. Most of all I feel that these tapes have been character building. They have helped to put me on track, to take me to my future goals.

Glenn speaks about most people clinging to a distorted body image, so a lot of people see themselves as unacceptable. This part of the coaching was really interesting, in how people perceive the perfect body image:

'Very tall, thin, boyish hips, long legs, large bust, long hair and classical looks.' (women naturally, although it takes all sorts)

I personally believe that you are who you are, and if people can't accept and love who you are, then there's no point investing your time with those people. It doesn't matter how you look, it's the qualities you have that count. If you love yourself for those qualities, then your inner beauty just shines through. It makes you a more attractive person to want to be around.

It was also interesting to learn that self-esteem and self-image, are determined by the way we talk to ourselves. We all talk to ourselves, often with an inner critical voice, criticising information we receive and often 'putting ourselves down'.

To be able to succeed in life, we need to overcome objections, take risks, not be afraid of failure, and have the ability to confront and solve problems. There are many different ways to accomplish this. One way I've found to do this, is to organise the information that I take in and filter it. I've learned to replace my negative filter with a positive filter. I simply re-word the information so that it results in a positive outcome. People in general, who don't have a positive mental attitude, are around 85% negative in their thoughts and the way they speak and offer information. So if someone was to say, "It's been a waste of time coming here," I'll reply with, "Let's find something more interesting to do," or "What can we find positive out of coming here today?"

I've also begun to discipline my thoughts when listening to my critical inner voice. You have to break the habitual voice, telling your voice to stop being critical and start being positive.

Glenn suggested how to change your critical voice to a healthy voice. He gave many options to how your critical voice can sound. Out of the selection he gave I've chosen my 'healthy voice' to be the voice of my 'Hollywood Agent'. This voice sings my praises and is constantly telling me how good I am at my strengths.

Another strategy to improve your self-esteem is to use affirmations. I already know a bit about affirmations, but didn't realise that I should associate them with visualisations and emotional feelings.

P P P + P E + R = H

Personal, Present Tense, Pictures + Positive Emotions + Repetition = Habit

What am I doing now?

It all begins to come together. My next task is to write myself some affirmations, to say out loud first thing in the morning, and to repeat last thing at night.

In the past few months I find my life has changed. Now I am a free agent, having parted from my boyfriend. The reason being, I have listened to the little voice inside of me. It was saying, "Cheryl you are fairly happy, but you would be so much happier without him, and the stress of his family. You would be happier with a better social life, with a career which will bring you the finer things in life." The more I listened to the tapes the less significant my relationship seemed. I then finally came to the conclusion that it wasn't a happy relationship. Not on my part anyway. It was just a habit. I went to see him just because I had always done so for the last 2 ½ years, and why should anything need to change. I was just being habitual. He was very dominant and possessive. Until this time I was afraid of him. But I finally 'bit the bullet' and told him it was over. My fears were realised, when he punched me in the face. Oh how glad I was that this had happened now; and had not become the habit of the future.

My ideas of my job have also changed; I now want to make a career for myself in sales.

I always knew that this company would grow and become very successful, to its full potential. And it will. I don't have many gut feelings but this one I do have. Beforehand I believed that when the company grew and developed, that I would with it. This maybe true, but I would have been satisfied with the position of always being a Sales Administrator. With the help of this new Knowledge, I now have the determination to become something more, to get myself the career I want, and to further my knowledge and skills. I have always had a thirst for knowledge, but it's quickly becoming a must. I now want the job that I love and enjoy. A job that I have a passion for. One that enthuses and motivates me.

Now realising that I will get what I desire, I now know you just have to want it hard enough, and be prepared to put in that extra work to develop yourself.

The other area in which I've changed, is my body image. I realise that you can't have high self-esteem all the time, but most of the time is a pretty good start. Body image has a strong impact on our lives, because we are so often bombarded by the media, portraying beautiful bodies and beautiful faces. Learning that your body is an instrument and not an ornament, is a good place to start, to help you accept he features you have, and use them to the best of your ability, instead of worrying about the features that you don't have. Also realising that if I dress comfortably, I will look more confident and carry myself across better, giving out more positive vibes.

I feel that I have changed in many different ways. Being more confident and more assertive are two of the main areas. I now feel that I have the ability to confront and solve problems that lay ahead of me. I determine my own future, and my destination.

Knowing that you control your own destiny makes you aware of the things you ask for. Bearing in mind you have to take small steps (and lots of them), before you reach any large goal that you set yourself.

Talking positively to myself will help me to achieve my goals. Re-wording my critical voice. Instead of accessing the negative, turn it around and focus on the positive side, or outcome, or possibility. Changing my critical voice into a healthy voice.

I now have goals. It will take a lot of hard work to reach them, and a great many small steps. I realise that, but I now have the determination. I take them on as a challenge!

Cheryl.

If you want to know more about how you or your work team can raise their self-esteem, please contact Glenn Harrison for an informal chat.

Motivational Training: tel +44 (0)1777 710999

fax +44 (0)1777 710888 mob +44 (0)7768 267267
E-Mail Us: Click Here
www.motivationaltraining.com

Glenn Harrison

Author/Coach/Trainer/Motivational Speaker
Certified Acredited Behavioural Analyst

Glenn Harrison is available as a world-wide, international motivational speaker to give an hilarious, listen, laugh and learn, educational speech on Body Language.

We train all over the world; at no additional cost other than economy travel and overnight expenses.