THE RULES  

If you are to have a thorough understanding of how to interpret other people's body language, and how to use your own to best effect in communication, then you must follow 3 basic rules of interpretation.

RULE No 1

The culture people are born or raised in, will have a direct affect on how people act, or react, with body movements, gestures, expressions, posture, angles and distances.

RULE No 2

Body language is like any other language. There are words, phrases, sentences, punctuation and varying degrees of intensity.

RULE No 3

It depends on the context of what's just been said or done as to how people act or react with their body language.

RULE No 4

Body language is predictable.

RULE NO 5

Different behaviours show their body language with different intensities.

One of the more frequent questions I'm often asked about body language is:-

"Can you really tell what people are thinking, just by looking at their body language?"

The answer is a definite, “Yes”. Generally, that is, most of the time, you can tell what people are thinking by looking at their body language, providing you can follow the above three basic rules.

Sometimes I'm asked

"Why then, isn't it allowable in a court of law as testimony or evidence?"

The answer is that there are varying degrees of control a person can have over their body language. Most people don't have any control, because they aren't aware of the signals they display and project. An expert can conceal or alter their body language to deceive, but only for short periods of time.

Our law is always hinged around the evidence being ‘beyond any reasonable doubt’. There can always be reasonable doubt, because body language, just like our verbal language, is open to interpretation.

Cultural differences create different meanings from gestures, so the science isn't exact. Neither of course are the words, except we can challenge the words much more precisely than we can gestures.

This doesn't mean to say that body language isn't taken into account in a courtroom. Any jury that ‘perceives’ that someone in the dock is lying, through their own rational intuition, is going to have their verdict swayed.

If the gestures of the defendant aren’t congruent with the words, that is, the defendant says something in answer to a question, but their gestures indicate they are lying; the jury will pick up on this, and vote accordingly. We all have natural intuitions to some degree. For some of us though, it is much less than others

Let’s look in more detail at these 4 basic rules.

RULE 1- CULTURAL DIFFERENCES

Now here’s the funny part. You can get yourself in all sorts of trouble in other countries by not having an understanding of their body language. Much of our normal body language can mean other things in other countries, some of it amusing, some of it extremely offensive.

Let’s look at some simple gestures to open your mind to the problems we face. Please bear in mind we don’t have to go abroad to fall foul of this, in England and America where there are similar gestures, we have an enormous tourist industry, and so many other cultures come to us.

Author Roger E. Axtell in his book “Gestures: - The Do’s and Taboos of Body Language Around the World,” goes into great detail, and is a great reference book for those of you who are globe trotters.

‘THUMBS UP’

In the UK and USA the ‘thumbs up’ sign means OK. It’s a signal of affirmation. You agree with something. It’s fine. In other countries it has other meanings: -

Germany – Germans generally count their thumb first as an indicator, followed by index finger, middle finger, third finger then little finger, to count to five. English and Americans will overall count: - index finger as one, middle finger as two, third finger as three, little finger as four and thumb five.

A German ordering two drinks would hold up the thumb and index finger. So the ‘thumbs up’ sign in German simply means “one.”

In parts of Australia, Nigeria, Greece and some other cultures, it has a totally different meaning:- ‘up yours’ or ‘screw you.’ Especially if the thumb and fist is moved up and down.

The origin of this gesture comes from Roman gladiator days when the Emperor would give a ‘thumbs up’ signal for a courageous gladiator in the arena, to live; and the thumbs down signal to indicate that the gladiator should be put to death. Desmond Morris, however, suggests that Hollywood film producers may have got this slightly wrong.

History suggests that the thumbs were used in a slightly different way, in that the thumb pointed upward meant ‘kill’, and the thumb was tucked into the fingers to show mercy.

The Hollywood version has now changed history, and it is now accepted throughout the world as thumb up for mercy. Thumb up ‘for’, thumb pointing down-‘against’.

The swinging 60’s in the UK brought about a new meaning for ‘thumbs up’ and ‘thumbs down’: ‘swinging’ and ‘dodgy’.

Hitchhikers in the USA and parts of Europe use this signal, thumb upwards, moved up and down, to indicate they want to beg a lift from a motorist.

People have been ‘roughed up’ in parts of Nigeria, Australia and Greece for using this hitch hiking gesture. They’ve interpreted it as ‘stick’ it up your back passage. The moral is …… Just be careful where you stick your thumb.

THE OK SIGN

In the UK and USA, this signal means O.K fine. In France it means zero, worthless, don’t want anything to do with it.

In Japan it means money. “Show us your money.”

In Nigeria “you a**hole.”

In Malta it’s even more degrading. It’s what gay males do for their form of ‘coitus interruptus.’

Some cultures would signal an O.K with one hand, and stick their finger through the hole to signal obscenely the act of coitus interruptus.

Most English speaking nations accept the sign as a positive gesture. When in other cultures, better maybe not to use it all. You may end up with a black eye.

RULE 2 - BODY LANGUAGE IS A LANGUAGE

One gesture, or movement, or expression, may have many different meanings, just as our verbal language has words which may have different meanings.

Body language is a language, like any other language. It has words, phrases and punctuation, which when put together, form sentences.

So to look at a gesture and label it with a meaning, would be wrong. Sadly, people with limited knowledge of body language, will often do this. Assumptions are made, which can be detrimental to the communication.

One gesture, just like one word in English, can have a number of meanings.

Let's look at some words as examples.

Plaster:

Dressing:

Box:

As you can see, a word can have many different meanings.

So if I fold my arms, does this mean I'm negative? Well, maybe. And then again my hands might be cold, or my body may have dropped in temperature. Maybe my shoulders ache, and folding my arms relaxes them. Maybe it just helps me balance if I’m in an awkward position.

If I rub my nose while I'm telling you something, does that mean I'm lying to you? It could do. It could also mean my nose itches. My finger might itch. Maybe I've got a big nose and I've developed a habit of unconsciously touching it, trying to hide it in when I’m in company.

If I cover my mouth when I answer your question, does that mean I'm lying to you? It could do. It could also mean that I've just been to the dentist, I've had a tooth taken out and I'm embarrassed for you to see the gap. Maybe I'm aware that I've got halitosis (bad breath) and I don't want you to smell it.

Body language is like any other language. There are words, phrases, sentences, punctuation and grammar.

The great thing about learning body language is that you don't have to rely on the book, or the tape, or the CD, or going to a foreign country to learn it.

Yes you need a reference book, but body language is all around you. Every day you probably see someone, whether it's face-to-face or even on the TV.

Put a cluster of gestures together and you can form a phrase or a sentence. A series of gestures will give you a story. The intensity of the gestures will give the grammar and the emotional strength.

We are looking for clusters of gestures. Preferably three or more.

If you suggest an idea to me, or ask me to do something, I sit back in my chair, fold my arms, put my chin down and cross my ankles; it would be fairly obvious to most people that I've become defensive, negative, and I'm evaluating your idea with dissent.

My body is saying "NO, I'm not happy with that"

or "NO I don't want to do that".

…….. Which brings us on to our 3rd rule.

RULE 3 - CONSIDER WHAT'S JUST BEEN SAID OR DONE

Looking again at the last series of pictures. What if I was in a room on my own, or even with you and you didn't talk to me, but instead. I'm happy, except the temperature in the room drops considerably, let's say to around 5 ° c. Then go through the same sequence of gestures. Am I negative now? Yes, but for a different reason.

Am I being defensive towards you? No I'm just cold and going through a series of movements to warm my body. These same movements are done in two entirely different circumstances and have two entirely different meanings.

We have to look for the reaction to what's just been said or done. A reaction that occurs entirely because of what's instantly been said or done. Simply seeing a cluster of gestures, without knowing what's just happened to cause them, would only lead to a speculative assessment of a person's thoughts.

The accuracy of this speculation, would be derived from the information you have to hand, and your level of expertise in understanding body language.

RULE 4 – BODY LANGUAGE IS PREDICTABLE

A great way to see this, would be to record and watch a T.V. programme on video-tape. Record a programme with people communicating. Don't watch the programme until you watch it recorded. Then watch it without the sound.

Try and evaluate what's happening, sections at a time and then replay the tape to verify your findings. After a while you'll become very good at speculating the either/ or situation.

You'll be saying "It could mean this or it could mean that, depending on what's just been said". As you get better, you'll invariably get one of then right each time.

With the rules in mind, there will come a point in time where you'll be able to look at someone's written speech, say for a wedding or a presentation, and be able to highlight where various gestures will take place, to a remarkable degree of accuracy.

Our sub-conscious body language is so predictable that we can predict what gestures people will use, if we know what they are going to say.

RULE 5 – DIFFERENT BEHAVIOURS SHOW THEIR BODY LANGUAGE WITH DIFFERENT INTENSITIES.

Dominant people use chopping and pointing gestures. Their gestures a very forceful and often confrontational; even aggressive.

Influential people are animated with their gestures. They have difficulty keeping their hands still and can be very demonstrative.

Steadier people use less energy. Their gestures by hand are often restricted by pinning their elbows to their hips and these peole are almost expressionless with their facial gestures. They are much harder to read.

Compliant and conscientiois peole tend to have mant critical gestures around their face. They have very little animation with their body and their hand gestures are extremely reserved.

Glenn Harrison

Author/Coach/Trainer/Motivational Speaker
Certified Accredited Behavioural Analyst

Glenn Harrison is available as a world-wide, international motivational speaker to give a hilarious, educational speech on Body Language.

We train all over the world; at no additional cost other than economy travel and overnight expenses.